I'm cheating on my husband, Dr. X. Yes, you read that right. I-N-F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y. I even spelled it out for you. It's been going on for about two months now. And, yes, Dr. X knows all about it.
Boyfriend No. 1 was introduced to me by a co-worker. She met him not long before I did, actually, but didn't really have a problem sharing.
At first, our relationship was out in the open. He came over on a Friday and stayed through the weekend. He had to go home on Monday, but I wasn't quite ready to give him up just yet. So I paid to get him back.
Sounds totally disgusting, right? I assure you, most of the time, I'm a pretty moral person.
After that first weekend, though, our meetings became somewhat clandestine. I knew my family would have a hard time accepting this ongoing affair. There were stolen moments during my morning routine. A quick rendezvous during my lunch break. A quiet evening curled up together. Late nights under the covers with a flashlight.
Dr. X caught on pretty fast. "What are you doing up there?" he'd ask after I slipped away quietly before dinner.
"Nothing," I'd shout, racing back downstairs.
He'd just shake his head at me. I got used to that; it stopped bothering me. I weathered the cruel looks and critical remarks. I was completely unashamed of my relationship. I started talking about it with my friends and family. Sister S tried to steal him away a few weeks ago, but it didn't work out. I like to think he prefers older women.
Over time, though, I started getting a little restless. He's beautiful alright, but he doesn't eat, sleep, take my trash out or do the yard work. He's also totally insatiable - always available and ready to steal me away at any given moment, especially when I need to be doing something else. And I don't think I'm the only woman he's seeing right now. Honestly, I'm having a harder time than I first thought keeping his attention.
See, Boyfriend No. 1 isn't exactly real. His name is Edward and, as much as I want to keep him for myself, I guess I can share a little. Check out the New York Times Bestseller list and maybe you'll fall a little in love with a fictional character yourself.
At one point, I tried to get Dr. X to understand my head-over-heels infatuation with another "man," but he failed to grasp my literary obsession. After reading a few pages of my much-younger boyfriend's story, he grimaced and handed the book back to me. "That's woman sex," he announced sourly.
"Nothing," I'd shout, racing back downstairs.
He'd just shake his head at me. I got used to that; it stopped bothering me. I weathered the cruel looks and critical remarks. I was completely unashamed of my relationship. I started talking about it with my friends and family. Sister S tried to steal him away a few weeks ago, but it didn't work out. I like to think he prefers older women.
Over time, though, I started getting a little restless. He's beautiful alright, but he doesn't eat, sleep, take my trash out or do the yard work. He's also totally insatiable - always available and ready to steal me away at any given moment, especially when I need to be doing something else. And I don't think I'm the only woman he's seeing right now. Honestly, I'm having a harder time than I first thought keeping his attention.
See, Boyfriend No. 1 isn't exactly real. His name is Edward and, as much as I want to keep him for myself, I guess I can share a little. Check out the New York Times Bestseller list and maybe you'll fall a little in love with a fictional character yourself.
At one point, I tried to get Dr. X to understand my head-over-heels infatuation with another "man," but he failed to grasp my literary obsession. After reading a few pages of my much-younger boyfriend's story, he grimaced and handed the book back to me. "That's woman sex," he announced sourly.
Fine. Go ahead, brandish me with a scarlet letter. I'll wear it proudly, but just don't take my "Twilight" books away.
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1 comment:
Haha, who doesn't love Twilight? Glad you're a fan :)
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